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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24951520">to be among those in the know, or else be alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/niomei/pseuds/niomei'>niomei</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>All The Good I Know [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M, basically changkyun is a producer instead of an idol in this au, exy soyou luda serim and bona are all briefly mentioned, hyunwoo hoseok and kihyun are here but only in the last scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:03:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24951520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/niomei/pseuds/niomei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minhyuk thinks that one of Monsta X's favorite producers, Im Changkyun, is in love. He's determined to figure it out, but the man's a lock with no key, and none of the other members have any answers for him.</p>
<p>If only he knew the half of it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>All The Good I Know [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to be among those in the know, or else be alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from <a href="https://poets.org/poem/i-am-much-too-alone-world-yet-not-alone"><i>I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone</i> by Rainer Maria Rilke</a></p>
<p>in this au, changkyun isn't an idol or trainee, but instead is an in-house producer at starship, so MX is the usual suspects and Gunhee</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are two rings strung through Changkyun's necklace. Minhyuk scrunches his nose when he sees them-- they seem familiar, but also not. He's never seen them before on Changkyun though, and it's weird realizing there's something he doesn't know about him. They worked together often, so often he already reached the double digit in terms of credits all over Monsta X's discography, and Minhyuk has <em>history</em> with him.</p>
<p>Changkyun had always been a vaguely mysterious PD though, so it's not a surprise as much as it is a reminder. This seems weirdly showy of him.</p>
<p>"Kyun-ah," Minhyuk says, and Changkyun hums in response; he's messing with the soundboard lightly after doing a couple of takes with Hyungwon in the booth, keeping half an ear out for Minhyuk's ramblings. "What are those rings?"</p>
<p>Changkyun pauses to curl his fingers around his necklace and drop it back under his shirt casually.</p>
<p>"Nothing," he says. "They don't fit me but they were too nice to not wear, y'know?"</p>
<p>"They were pretty!" Minhyuk agrees readily, because they <em>were</em>; one was smooth silver, thick band glittering with a few small sapphires, while the other was a thinner rose gold dappled with yellow gold details. "Did you get them in the wrong size?"</p>
<p>"No, they were gifts from someone. She guessed my ring size wrong."</p>
<p>"She was probably too shy to ask," Hyungwon says from the booth, and that's when Minhyuk notices that Changkyun has the live audio channel open.</p>
<p>"We've known each other a long time," Changkyun says with a playful lilt. "You'd think she'd be less hesitant."</p>
<p>"Ya, Kyun-ah, you're just too handsome," Minhyuk berates him with a laugh.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I.M-sshi," Hyungwon says. "So handsome it's scary."</p>
<p>Changkyun starts getting flustered, snuggling deeper into his hoodie.</p>
<p>"Anyway," Changkyun says. "We're ready to start again."</p>
<p>He mutes the channel right as Hyungwon starts laughing.</p><hr/>
<p>"Hyungwon," Minhyuk says in the car as they ride back to the dorms. "Don't you think Changkyun has been. . . weird?"</p>
<p>"How?" Hyungwon asks, not looking up from his phone.</p>
<p>"Well I was thinking. . . he's quiet. Maybe it's just with me, but he doesn't talk about personal stuff often."</p>
<p>"I think he's like that with most people. Don't take it to heart Minnie."</p>
<p>"No, I'm not hurt," Minhyuk clears up quickly. "I was just thinking about it. I mean, isn't it weird that he just stopped--" and here he pauses, tries to not glance at one of their managers in the front seat. "<em>--you know.</em> That he just stopped suddenly and nobody really knows why."</p>
<p>"You know very well that he stopped doing that way before we debuted. Why ask now?"</p>
<p>Minhyuk pauses to fiddle with his shirt as he thinks, and Hyungwon finally looks up from his phone to stare.</p>
<p>"I guess. . . I'm just curious," Minhyuk says slowly. "I was always curious, but debut was so crazy that I just. . . never got the chance to think about it. Changkyun was <em>infamous,</em> and then suddenly he turned into this saint? What happened?"</p>
<p>Hyungwon hums thoughtfully, though it seems absent at best.</p>
<p>"Whatever it is, he chose to be quiet about it. We're all entitled to our secrets. And, for all intents and purposes, he seems fine, so I wouldn't worry about it," Hyungwon says succinctly.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess. Although he seems happier this last year than I've ever seen him."</p>
<p>Hyungwon tilts his head curiously, and Minhyuk finds himself mirroring thoughtlessly. There's <em>something</em> glittering in Hyungwon's eyes.</p>
<p>"You think so?" Hyungwon asks.</p>
<p>"He still writes other things, and he writes them well, but. . . he writes more pretty songs than he used to," Minhyuk says, scooting a little closer to Hyungwon to whisper. "Do you think he's in love? They're not all love songs, but they're pretty like one."</p>
<p>Hyungwon's mouth twitches, either up or down, Minhyuk can't tell, but then Hyungwon giggles a little.</p>
<p>"What!" Minhyuk says with a pout.</p>
<p>"I think it's funny that you've got a whole conspiracy based on Changkyun's happiness," Hyungwon says, not unkindly. "Can't you just be happy for him? Do you have to know?"</p>
<p>". . . I guess not," Minhyuk admits. "I just wonder, is all."</p>
<p>"If he has anything to tell you, he'll say it when he feels he can," Hyungwon soothes before dropping his head onto Minhyuk's lightly. "Now, it's nap time."</p><hr/>
<p>Minhyuk slides in between Jooheon and Gunhee with zero shame, interrupting their video watching session. They scoot to accommodate him even while they whine.</p>
<p>“I think Changkyun-ah is hiding a secret lover,” Minhyuk declares. Gunhee sort of blinks at him. Jooheon makes a confused sound. “Do you two know anything?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” Gunhee says after a beat. “He’s pretty private, especially with that stuff. One time I thought he was buying flowers for someone but they just ended up in a vase in his studio.”</p>
<p>“He writes a lot of love songs for WJSN but I don’t know if that means anything,” Jooheon continues, casually draping his legs over Minhyuk’s.</p>
<p>“They’re really nice love songs though,” Gunhee mulls. "Like, pretty damn nice."</p>
<p>". . . When we were trainees," Jooheon says slowly. "He'd never tell us who he slept with the night before. Even if the trainee was bragging to high heaven about it, he'd just smirk and tell us to mind our own business. That man even protected his one night stands identities."</p>
<p>"So if he had a lover. . ." Minhyuk prompts.</p>
<p>"We'd never even know," Gunhee finishes.</p>
<p>All three sit in contemplative silence for a minute, caught in their own thoughts, before Minhyuk heaves a dramatic sigh. Lightly pushing Jooheon's legs off of his lap, Minhyuk stands and stretches.</p>
<p>"So I guess you two don't know either," Minhyuk says dejectedly. "I thought that out of everyone, y'know, you two are closest to him, so. . ."</p>
<p>Minhyuk shrugs and excuses himself, disappearing deeper into the dorm.</p>
<p>"Oh my god, Changkyun has a secret lover," Jooheon finally says.</p>
<p>"We don't know that for sure," Gunhee says.</p>
<p>"We don't know if he <em>doesn't</em> though."</p>
<p>They're quiet once more.</p>
<p>"Damn."</p>
<p>"<em>Damn</em>."</p><hr/>
<p>"Changkyun!" Jooheon yells cheerily, bursting into his studio and scaring the ever loving <em>shit</em> out of Changkyun. "Are you in love?!"</p>
<p>"FUCK," Changkyun screams, nearly toppling over. "No! Learn how to knock! Jesus Christ!"</p>
<p>Jooheon groans loudly and turns to leave as suddenly as he arrived, and Changkyun is left wide eyed and wild.</p>
<p>"I don't think he even noticed me here," Hyungwon says from his spot on the couch, where he's conveniently covered by the open door. He stands and shuts the door lightly, twisting the lock. "Minhyuk has been driving Honey nuts these days, asking him if you have a secret lover."</p>
<p>"What?" Changkyun says, still dazed.</p>
<p>"I keep trying to tell him to chill, but Min isn't very. . . chill,” Hyungwon sighs, but when he turns around to return to the couch, he’s grinning. “So you’re not in love, hm?”</p>
<p>Changkyun quickly stands up and hugs Hyungwon from behind, hooking his chin over his shoulder. Hyungwon laughs and waddles around, trying to unsuccessfully shake Changkyun off. His protests are token at best.</p>
<p>"Babe~" Changkyun coos, pressing a wet, loud, smacking kiss to the shell of Hyungwon's ear; Hyungwon shrieks but giggles right after, grabbing Changkyun's hands over his tummy. "Don't be upset, I'm just your himbo husband."</p>
<p>Hyungwon laughs even harder, slumping back into Changkyun's chest. Changkyun grunts at the sudden weight, but dutifully holds on, pressing much softer kisses across Hyungwon's cheek and temple.</p>
<p>"What can this poor husband do in the face of such betrayal?" Hyungwon says with a dramatic lilt.</p>
<p>"I'll make it up to you," Changkyun says, and as Hyungwon turns his head over to look at Changkyun, he finds his train of thought completely derailed.</p>
<p>Hyungwon is smiling wide, cheeks puffed up and eyes scrunched shut. He's never been the jealous type-- Changkyun has always had the stronger possessive streak, embarrassingly enough-- and he was always a little playful, tugging at Changkyun's strings with ease. Sometimes Changkyun feels like a dog on a leash, nothing like the big bad wolf people think he is, and it was shocking to realize that he. . . likes it. He likes being Hyungwon's, being at his mercy, being toyed with because Hyungwon was his too. Those kinds of thoughts drive Changkyun <em>wild</em>, brings heat to his cheeks and makes him want to duck his head from the honesty.</p>
<p>"And how will you do that?" Hyungwon asks softly, standing up straight and turning around languidly.</p>
<p>Changkyun tugs Hyungwon down, fingers still laced together, and kisses him slow and sweet. Hyungwon puffs a tiny laugh from his nose but is happy to press closer. This is <em>severely</em> indulgent-- Changkyun needs to submit his final edits of a song for WJSN by midnight, and Hyungwon was helping by lending an ear since Changkyun felt like his brain was going to melt from listening to it so much. It's clear that the rest of Monsta X is in the building too, likely only minutes away from taking Hyungwon back with them to practice or toting him off to a variety show or something else. None of this stops them. What does cause change is when Hyungwon lifts his left leg a little, suddenly reminded of the small ache he's been feeling all day in his foot.</p>
<p>Changkyun hums, gently, <em>gently</em> crowding Hyungwon up against his studio wall. Hyungwon sighs, rolling his left ankle lightly. Changkyun pats his left thigh, and wraps an arm under it when Hyungwon hooks up over his hip.</p>
<p>"We should tell them," Changkyun says after a beat.</p>
<p>"We should," is all Hyungwon says, reluctant and low.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?"</p>
<p>Hyungwon sighs, tilting his head back to think. Changkyun rubs his leg soothingly. The silence settles naturally between them, breaths syncing up in the meantime.</p>
<p>"It's not that I don't trust them," Hyungwon starts, then stops.</p>
<p>"I never doubted that, sweetheart," Changkyun assures.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Yeah. It's just that, I think, I've spent so long protecting <em>us</em> that it's hard to even think about announcing it. When Sojung found out, I think I almost died."</p>
<p>Changkyun nods in agreement, remembering the ensuing panic with a grimace. Sojung had been exceedingly kind and understanding, and had kept her promise of secrecy, but it was still unnerving.</p>
<p>"Not surprised she just burst in here like that," Hyungwon says with a snort. "All these rappers are so dramatic, ah. . ."</p>
<p>"Hey!"</p>
<p>Hyungwon bursts into another round of giggles at that, hugging Changkyun tight.</p>
<p>“<em>Including</em> you.”</p>
<p>“Yah, what’s a husband good for if all mine is gonna do is insult me?” Changkyun complains, scrunching his nose at Hyungwon.</p>
<p>“You’re <em>very</em> fond of that word.”</p>
<p>“And you’re not fond enough.”</p>
<p>The tease brings that cheek-squishing smile right back.</p>
<p>“My wonderful, loyal, kind, doting <em>husband</em>,” Hyungwon says, trying to not laugh. “Who says he’s not in love, and yet still decided to elope with me. . .”</p>
<p>“In <em>Las Vegas,</em> no less,” Changkyun interrupts, and they grin at each other, tickled silly at the reminder of the plastic rings they’d used to get wedded by an ordained Elvis impersonator.</p>
<p>“Your parents didn’t even look surprised when we told them,” Hyungwon says, dropping his forehead against Changkyun’s as they laugh together at the memory.</p>
<p>“I think your mom is going to hold that over my head forever,” Changkyun groans. “It was a <em>joint</em> <em>decision</em>!”</p>
<p>“<em>Shameless American boys--</em>”</p>
<p>Changkyun lets out a little frustrated yell and Hyungwon finally dissolves into hiccuping laughter. He can barely hold himself up straight, resting all his weight against the wall. Changkyun wants to keep huffing and puffing, but Hyungwon’s laugh is contagious and he can’t resist chuckling along.</p>
<p>Hyungwon’s phone pings from the couch, followed by six or seven rapid fire text notifications.</p>
<p>“Okay my shameless American boy of a husband,” Hyungwon says, ignoring Changkyun’s resulting pout. “Time to get back to work.”</p>
<p>Changkyun’s grip on Hyungwon’s leg tightens a little, and he pulls in for another kiss. Hyungwon is easy after so long, and Changkyun thanks his lucky stars for that because the man could be stubborn when he’s set on it.</p>
<p>“Back to work,” Changkyun sighs.</p><hr/>
<p>Minhyuk drops the whole thing for a few days, distracted with comeback preparations, but it was all bound to return in due time. He’s tenacious at best.</p>
<p>Changkyun has ducked into Monsta X’s practice room for a few minutes, getting hugged by a sweaty but well meaning Hoseok immediately. He groans but doesn’t try to break free, fond of all his hyungs deep down inside. It’s tentatively controlled chaos all around him as he settles on the floor across from Jooheon and Gunhee; Kihyun is trying to steal Minhyuk’s water bottle, and Hyunwoo and Hyungwon have their heads ducked together, conspiring. . . something. Once Hoseok joins them, Changkyun knows it must be some dance line official business going on. He’s happy to talk to the rappers, discussing recent album releases with relish.</p>
<p>“What brings you here, Kyun-ah?” Minhyuk asks, plopping down next to him. Kihyun settles on his other side, suspiciously more wet than the last time Changkyun saw him.</p>
<p>“Taking a quick inspiration break,” Changkyun says. “I’m stumped on a song right now and I’m lacking a muse.”</p>
<p>“What kinda song?” Kihyun asks, and they all huddle closer to see if they can help.</p>
<p>“It’s supposed to be a softer break up song, and I have archives of stuff but none of it fits the style. It’s for Jihyun noona. Not that she wouldn’t kill any of them, but I want to work <em>with</em> her strengths, not <em>against</em> them, you know? And the feeling isn’t quite right either.”</p>
<p>As Changkyun talks his way through his thoughts and parameters-- how he wants it to sound, what he wants the lyrics to feel like-- Hyunwoo, Hoseok, and Hyungwon sit down nearby too.</p>
<p>“--Anyway, I’ve been talking to Jihyun noona about it, and we’re both working hard but ah, it’s still been hard,” Changkyun finishes.</p>
<p>Everyone throws in suggestions, and Changkyun takes them in thankfully.</p>
<p>“I guess writing break up songs is hard for you,” Gunhee says thoughtfully. “You don’t seem like the kind of person to get broken up with often.”</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s happened, but it’s never been any important relationships you know? Short ones that weren’t very much before they ended,” Changkyun says, leaning back on his hands. “The one that matters the most. . . that kind of relationship, long term commitment? That would hurt too much to end, especially if it’s good. I’d never be able to let that go, I’m a little too selfish for that.”</p>
<p>“Ah, Changkyunnie is a possessive lover,” Hoseok jokes, smiling widely. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”</p>
<p>“When was the last time you broke up with someone?” Minhyuk asks.</p>
<p>“Hmm. Probably just before I got the job here. When I was totally freelancing, I had a girlfriend. We broke up on good terms, because she was moving to Japan for her medical science degree and I wanted to stay here. She and I still talk to each other, and I’ve met her girlfriend, so I can’t really take much inspiration from there for a sad break up song.”</p>
<p>“Has it been so long?” Kihyun asks, surprised. “You’ve been here. . . six years?”</p>
<p>“Yup,” Changkyun says with a laugh, sprawling out on the floor. He lands between Hyunwoo and Hyungwon; Hyunwoo pats his shoulder and leaves his hand there, solid and comforting. “I slept around a lot my first two years, didn’t I? But those weren’t <em>commitments</em>, y’know? They were always temporary.”</p>
<p>Hyungwon lightly pushes Changkyuns black bangs back.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while in <em>that</em> regard,” Gunhee jokes.</p>
<p>“I don’t like it anymore. Don’t need it.”</p>
<p>“Ohhh, sounds like <em>commitment</em>~” Hoseok says, eyes mischievous. “Did the lone wolf find someone?”</p>
<p>“Yah, what is it with all these love interrogations?” Changkyun complains, eyes fluttering shut. Hyungwon’s hand is resting against the top of his head, and it burns pleasantly, warmer than anything else. “Go fight WJSN’s suitors if you’re so into drama, they need it. I feel like I’m beating a new round of boys and girls off of Luda every week.”</p>
<p>“Serim too,” Jooheon groans. “He’s a great kid but he’s too polite.”</p>
<p>The discussion dissolves into dongsaeng talk, Hyunwoo specifically lamenting that Jiyeon had been trying to show him a new dance and they hadn’t had time to meet. Eventually, Changkyun peels himself off of the floor and stretches, shaking off a yawn.</p>
<p>“Thank you for your help,” he says as he leaves. “Monsta X hwaiting!”</p>
<p>The moment the door shuts, Minhyuk <em>explodes</em>.</p>
<p>“He’s definitely seeing someone!”</p>
<p>“Minhyuk, we talked about this,” Hyunwoo says, and Minhyuk sighs loudly. “If he <em>is</em>, that’s his business.”</p>
<p>“You had that talk with him too?” Hyungwon says drily.</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>“And hey,” Hoseok says, throwing his arm over Minhyuk’s shoulder. “You never know if it’s an idol. It’s better if we don’t know in that case; we’d never say anything, but still, the fewer who know, the better.”</p>
<p>“. . . You think it’s Sojung?” Minhyuk asks.</p>
<p>“Oh God no,” Jooheon scoffs. “That girl is a lesbian, through and through.”</p>
<p>There’s a murmur of agreement amongst them all before Hyunwoo claps his hands and demands they restart practice. They don’t talk about it anymore, but the thought persists in Hyungwon’s mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>The fewer who know, the better.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have SO much lore for this au like. . . the whole thing is a mostly complete timeline in my brain. so if y'all are interested on How Things Got Here and How Things Pan Out let me know!</p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/mxniomei">twt</a> || <a href="https://mxniomei.tumblr.com/">tmbl</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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